A New Heart
Sitting in the airport reflecting and watching the people coming and going, rushing and waiting, I began to ponder my week in Texas with my recovering Mom. Open heart surgery for my mom shocked us all and made me once again consider the suddenness of life and death. Each day is a gift. I enjoyed the time we spent more than ever. Maybe it was because it was quiet and there were no distractions and only time to visit. Maybe it was because I realized that I had taken other times for granted, seeing my mom as young and healthy. Maybe it is because we don’t like to think of our parents as vulnerable or aging. I know this for certain, I am changed too.
This experience will make me a better daughter, sister, wife, mom, friend, and person. I am considering the brevity of the moments of life. By God’s grace, I pray I will live with new eyes. Eyes to see my husband and the care he faithfully gives to our family. Eyes to recognize and embrace the female bedtime prayers that go on for 10-15 minutes (stalling:) when all I want to do physically is drop into bed. Eyes to see and savor the time with my teen son even if there is no conversation going on. Eyes to see the people I encounter and remember that I may be the only kindness they experience. Eyes to see opportunities to invest in my friends.
Finally, I pray I will love God like He is coming back any moment. Life really is a vapor, and it is too precious to waste on meaningless activity and frivolous pursuits. Inventory is coming to my heart and life. I plan to take further inventory of how I am using God’s time. I want to be focused on God’s will and not my will as each moment goes by. I want to live without regret and realize when a teachable moment with my kids is before me. I want to invest not survive. I want to laugh and linger rather than stress and scream. “Create in me a clean heart oh God, and renew a willing spirit within me.” Only God can give us a clean heart and a fresh start. Thank you Lord for using a tangible heart problem to reveal a spiritual heart renewal. God may I not forget!
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